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ALONE: A Chaplain Spouse Perspective
By Anonymous When my husband came home to tell me he had received orders for a year-long unaccompanied tour to Korea, I remember thinking how different life would be. I didn’t expect just…
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The Deployment Series
Part One: The Deployment Series In this 2018 Season Finale, the Deployment Series brings an interview with Lizann Lightfoot, The Seasoned Spouse. We talk all about the struggles of deployment and how you can…
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Living Out Your Strengths Series
Part 1: Be Confident in Your Superpowers In this series, join Katie Christy and I as we completely nerd-out on the power of living out your strengths. All of us are good at…
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Raising Gen Z (In the Chaos) Series
Ep 1: Raising Emotionally Safe Kids Parenting is hard enough, but raising kids in a lifestyle of service sometimes feels even harder. For military there are constant relocations that make you wonder after…
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The Family Series (4 Part)
The Family Series (4 Part) Part 1 I was asked recently to address how to communicate better with family members- especially when the service lifestyle has changed you and your spouse. This is…
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Lifegiver Story
Tiffany Smiley In this amazing story, Tiffany Smiley shares her journey of excitement as a new military spouse and then tragically becoming a caregiver of her husband who was blinded during his first…
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Telling Your Story 2018
Sometimes we just need a place to share our story. Every single one of us has been through something difficult and made it through. I love a good story- one that inspires me…
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The Hello-Goodbye Continuum
By L.G. McCary Making friends isn’t the simplest thing for me. I have a quirky sense of humor influenced by British sitcoms, Shakespeare, Calvin and Hobbes, and my dad’s affinity for puppets. I…
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How to Stop Begging in Your Military Marriage
The deepest hurts of marriage are often deeper than the current circumstances. Instead, it is the fear that perhaps we are so different there is no hope. Personality differences that once attracted you…
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The Moral Injury Series
The topic of moral injury continues to be discussed within the military and veteran space, but many still are unclear what it is and how it impacts a person and their family. Moral…
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Calling for Chaplain Spouse Contributors!
Are you a chaplain spouse? Do you love to write or is it something you’ve been interested in? Read on, my friend… A few years ago, I came across a dissertation paper that…
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Raising Gen Z Military Kids
There is a moment in parenting where you realize that you no longer have the advantage and you now know absolutely nothing. For me, it was the moment I was schooled by my…
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It’s Time for You to Be a Military Spouse Mentor. Here’s Why.
The truth is that many of us have been in receive mode for far too long. For the past five years I’ve watched the military tradition of mentoring fade or be attacked as…
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Submit Your Own Lifegiver Story
Testimony is a powerful concept. It combines sharing the difficult parts of our story with how good has come out of it. It doesn’t always imply there is full healing. It will always…
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Lifegiver Stories
My favorite stories are ones of redemption and restoration. Every one of us experiences some level of pain… some level of suffering. As a clinician, it is always an honor to step into…
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Care Team
Developing a Care Team can be a daunting task. There is a reason why the Army doesn’t give us details, SOP’s, and a cookie cutter approach to building a CareTeam. Every battalion, squadron,…
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Chaplain Spouse Research
The Story Behind the Survey In 2010, I came across a research dissertation called “The Military Experience: Perceptions from Senior Military Officers’ Wives” by Dr. Henrietta McGowen1 that found a correlation between increased…
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How to Handle the Holiday Traditions Problem in Your Military Family
A few weeks ago, a seasoned military spouse well into retirement asked a question that threw me: “What traditions have you and your husband created for your family?” It was a simple question to which…
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Timepiece
I put on my old watch today. My normal routine is to wake up, drink a cup of coffee, or three, and then when I can’t put it off any longer, take my…
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What I Learned From Winning Military Spouse of the Year
What happens when you take a woman who serves in the shadows, who is terrified of success and who is flawed like everyone else, and thrust her into the spotlight? I have tried…
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Remember These 5 Things Next Time You Fight With Your Spouse (as seen on Military.com)
It might sound crazy, but conflict in your marriage can be a healthy sign. Two people who see the world in very different ways are never going to agree on everything. Too often,…
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Try Some Extra Kindness in Your Marriage (As seen on Military.com)
During a particularly difficult week, I scrolled through Facebook and paused on a post reporting that a local Starbucks gave out customers’ orders for free with no explanation. Baristas answered inquiries with merely…
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Stellar Spouse: As seen on Military.com
I already knew I had a stellar soldier for a husband- but right then I kinda hated it. Perhaps you have one too. The kind of spouse that strives to be his best…
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Sin in a Christian Marriage
“How do I confront my spouse’s negative behavior?” “What does it look like to be a godly wife when my husband has stopped caring?” “Is God is okay with me ending my marriage?” “How…
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Who Is Really the Problem Here? The Reintegration Battle (Military.com)
When I came home from my extended business trip, it was clear: My husband and our boys had together adopted a new world and language. My trip was longer than most I’ve done…
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Tips for a Happy Military Marriage (Military.com)
What if we make marriage a lot harder than it needs to be? What if I told you there are a few tips for a happy marriage you can follow to easily bring…
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How to Be Your Own Marriage Superhero (Military.com)
When I pretended o be Wonder Woman as a kid, I focused on her superpowers, trying to mimic flying through the air and dodging bullets. But as an adult, I realized I could…
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Military Marriage: When to Separate (Military.com)
How do you know when to separate from your spouse or when to call it quits? In almost every scenario, I tell a couple to fight for their relationship. Too often, I see couples give…
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So You’ve Hit a Marriage Setback: 3 Steps (Military.com)
We all have hope for a marriage that lasts and is fulfilling. What we often don’t expect is how hard it will be when we disagree with our spouse on important values, military…
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How to Be a Wonder Woman in Your Military Marriage (Military.com)
It was a silly thing to fight over, especially since it was an argument about fitting as much joy as possible into a Florida Disney family vacation. I, led by my “mom-guilt,” argued…
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Sex and Military Marriage: It’s Complicated (Military.com)
Let’s talk about sex. One of the most beautiful ways we love our spouses is through sexuality. It’s also one of the most emotionally complicated. Popular culture portrays it as simple, spontaneous and…
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3 Military Parenting Secrets for Raising Teenagers (Military.com)
My own awkward and painful memories of middle school flooded my mind. I had watched my son, only 12 years old and now in seventh grade, enter gracefully into a mostly civilian school…
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3 Huge Lies of Military Parenting After Deployment (Military.com)
The parenting standoffs between my husband and me after deployment rival those that I’ve had with a two-year-old who didn’t want to put away his jacket, with a colossal impact on my marriage.…
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3 Ways to Change Your Military Marriage Story (Military.com)
When I look back on the years of my military marriage, I see it as a bookshelf lined with memories. The deployment years are a lot like survival stories. Reintegration seems like a…
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Real Military Love: This Is Going to Hurt (Military.com)
There are two sides. Neither listen. Both are determined they are right. No, I’m not talking about politics or the tone in our country. I’m talking about marriage and military love. (But perhaps…
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The Power of the ‘Sacred Space’ in Military Marriage (Military.com)
The gap between my husband and me felt as wide as the Grand Canyon. Desperate to give it clarity, we called each life-changing moment that had over time created it a “sacred space.”…
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No More Footsie: When Military Marriage Is a Fight, Not a Love Fest (Military.com)
I recently watched as my cousin and his new fiancée constantly held each other, looked at each other, and played “footsie” under the table. The beginning years of a relationship are filled with…
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When You Bring Desperation to the Christmas Party (Military.com)
Home. I usually don’t know what to do with that word. Just as I am trying to create a “home,” I seem to be leaving it. Military couples say “home” is not where…
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Is This the Secret to Military Love that Lasts? (Military.com)
Wartime has been the guest in my home (and likely yours) that has long overstayed its welcome. Yet, as a military couple, we chose a lifestyle of service to our country that includes…
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Healers of Soul Injury: A Clinician’s Call to Serving Military Families
My professor set me up for success in the clinical world when I was tasked read Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings: Human Cruelty and the New Trauma Therapy, by Rebecca Coffey. The purpose,…
